本文信息点齐全，层次比较清楚，语言比较通顺，句式也有一定的变化。作者首先用一个so…that 句式将老师随和、善良的特点勾勒出来，接下来回忆了老师是如何在自己当初因讨厌背单词而想放弃学英语时对自己无私的帮助。结尾处，对于老师的感谢和祝福也就水到渠成，感情真挚、自然。
当然，文章的连贯和语言优化方面也还是可以进一步改进的。
【满分范文】
dear miss wang,
i’m glad to write to you. at this moment, words can no longer express my feelings.
how kind and responsible can a teacher be? you just gave me the perfect answer. i can clearly remember how much i hated learning new english words at first. to be honest, i really wanted to give up. as soon as you noticed this, you offered to help me by telling me some shortcuts to learn them. you never failed to encourage me even when i made only a little progress. little by little, my interest in english grew and now i’m a top student in english.
i want to say thanks to you. i will work harder in the future to live up to your expectations. i hope you can be happy and healthy forever.
yours
xiaoming
点评：
这篇修改后的作文无论在语言表达以及文章内涵方面都是相当优秀的。
首先，开头at this moment, words can no longer express my feelings. 短短的一句话便把作者此时的激动和对老师的感激之情表达得很充分。第二段首句的设问句how kind and responsible can a teacher be? 更是精彩。在描写自己起初对英语单词的厌烦时，作者用了一个how 所引导的宾语从句替代原文的普通句式。
文章的几个过渡语也是恰到好处: to be honest, little by little等，均在一定程度上增强了文章的连贯性。此外，几个表达法也相当地道、出彩，比如用 live up to one’s expectations (不辜负某人的期望)表示自己的决心，使得整篇文章的感情更加饱满、真挚，给人留下了深刻的印象。
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